Q: My parent keeps asking me to repeat myself. Should I just speak louder?

Audiologist:

Occasionally repeating yourself is part of normal communication. But when it happens frequently, becomes necessary throughout everyday conversations, it may be worth asking why.

One important thing to understand is that hearing loss is not always simply about volume.

Many people with age-related hearing loss can hear that someone is talking but cannot clearly distinguish certain speech sounds. This becomes particularly noticeable when people speak quickly, from another room, or when there is background noise.

That is why you may hear comments such as:

“I can hear you talking. I just can’t catch what you’re saying.”

Simply shouting may therefore make speech louder without necessarily making it clearer. Instead, get their attention first, face them when speaking, reduce competing noise where possible and speak clearly at a natural pace. Do know they do want to be included, involved in the conversations too.

These strategies can make conversations easier.

But if your family is having to use them constantly, there may be an underlying hearing difficulty that deserves attention.

Q: Why doesn’t my parent notice the hearing problem when the rest of us do?

Audiologist:

This is something we see very often.

What families sometimes describe as “denial” may actually be more complicated than simply refusing to accept a problem.

Hearing loss usually develops gradually.

There may never be a particular morning when someone wakes up and thinks:

“My hearing has deteriorated.”

Instead, they adapt.

And because the change happens slowly, it can be very natural to look for explanations outside themselves:

“People nowadays don’t speak clearly.”
“Everyone is mumbling.”
“The television programme has poor sound.”
“This restaurant is simply too noisy.”

From their perspective, these explanations can feel perfectly reasonable. They can hear people talking, after all.

The difficulty is understanding exactly what is being said.

So the problem appears to be the speaker—not their hearing.

Q: But surely they must notice how often we are repeating ourselves?

Audiologist:

Surprisingly, many don’t.

And this is where family love and support can unintentionally hide just how much the hearing has changed. Without thinking about it, family members adapt too.

– Their children repeat sentences two or three times.
– Their spouse automatically speaks louder.
– Someone walks closer before speaking.
– Family members make sure Mum or Dad is looking at them before starting a conversation.

They turn down competing sounds.

Sometimes they even raise their voices simply to get their attention.

Because these adjustments happen gradually and naturally, the person with hearing loss may not recognise how much everyone else has changed the way they communicate.

They may genuinely think:

“I’m still managing perfectly well.”

Sometimes patients are surprised when their children tell us during a consultation:

“Actually, Dad, we have been speaking much louder to you for quite some time.”

That can be a very important moment.

For the first time, the person may begin to see the situation differently.

Not:

“My children think I can’t hear.”

But:

“Perhaps my family has been helping me hear more than I realised.”

Denial Doesn’t Always Need Confrontation. Sometimes It Needs Time.

When families recognise hearing loss before their loved one does, frustration can easily build.

“We have told Dad many times.”

“Why won’t Mum recognise she cannot hear?”

Trying to prove that someone has a hearing problem can make them more defensive.

Accepting hearing difficulty does not always happen in one conversation.

For some people, it needs loving care, support and time.

The aim is not to prove that Mum or Dad is wrong.

It is to help them gradually recognise what the people who love them have already been noticing. Loved ones want to speak, catch up with them and findind it increasingly challenging to do so.

And that raises another important question. If our loved ones depend increasingly on us to repeat, speak louder and help them through conversations…

Should we continue doing it?

The answer is yes.

But helping someone hear at home and helping them live confidently with hearing loss are not necessarily the same thing.

In Part 2, we look at why family support is essential—but why family support alone may not be enough.